yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
