the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
