can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
