Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Enjoy the penises
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
