Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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