Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
