Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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