i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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