So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
