As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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