i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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