LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
