I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
