I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I love you. Go after that dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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