Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
