I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
