wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
