May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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