You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
