It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
