That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
