i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
