based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
