All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
