So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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