sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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