She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
