didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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