forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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