Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
