Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I heard we made out
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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