So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
