it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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