i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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