I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
