I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
