this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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