i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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