There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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