a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
