Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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