So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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