We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
