actually, I'm a sock model
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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