hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
