i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
