We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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