dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
