I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
