I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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