The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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